Is congress the opposite of progress?
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only
a 'penny for your thoughts'?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out
it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when
babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a
hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put
money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're
going to see you naked anyway.
Why is 'bra'singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast
to a horrible crisp? Its like they know I'm going to start
fire with strawberry poptarts.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid
song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out
of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he
gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he
sticks his head out the window
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME
crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made
from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have
the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the
hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it
considered rape or shoplifting?
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