If women ran medicine...

Don't swallow bubble gum!

Warning PG-13

Here's a joke I found funny, but I'm a little twisted. Have a great day and God bless.

As I walked down the busy footpath, knowing I was late for
an important meeting, my eye fell upon one of those
unfortunate, homeless vagabonds that are found in every city
these days.

Wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying every
worldly possession in two plastic bags, my heart was touched
by this person's condition.

Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as
if the sight would somehow contaminate them.

Recalling some long ago priest who made an admonition to
'care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked,'
I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this
unfortunate person.

Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a hidden beauty.
A small voice inside my head called out, 'Reach out, reach
out!'

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So I did..........




I Won't be at Mass this week!

I Can't Remember

Older Ladies

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...


Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers
please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk
if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his
car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars
circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car,
clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen
this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty
trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a
driving license.


The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse
and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you
didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you
murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!!!!

Crazy Pole Dancing

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