Chicken part 2 of 2

ARISTOTLE :
> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
>
> BILL GATES :
> I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ....... reboot.
>
>
> ALBERT EINSTEIN :
> Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
>
>
> BILL CLINTON :
> I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
>
>
> AL GORE:
> I invented the chicken!
>
>
> COLONEL SANDERS:
> Did I miss one?
>
>
> DICK CHENEY :
> Where's my gun?
>
>
> AL SHARPTON :
> Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? 1of

DR. PHIL:
> The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH :
> Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH :
> We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL :
> Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

JOHN KERRY :
> Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

PAT BUCHANAN :
> To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART :
> No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY :
> To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA :
> In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS :
> Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON :
> Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

Political Humor

Thought for the day
Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant'
Is like calling a drug dealer an 'unlicensed pharmacist'

or a beach bunny a coastally located female.
or a weed a volunteer flowers.
or a begger an entrepreneur.

Sex is like air--
its no big deal until you go long enough with out it.

4 out of 5 people surveyed preferred not to answer the question.

Check out Napier's Bones

Heres a blast from the past. I know old people like me had some actually cool teachers that showed us cool stuff, and the fad these days is to avoid teaching the kids anything so they feel better about themselves, SO this should be about amazing to youngsters.

Thank You JoshF!

technorati is cool