Reversal of Fate - Joke

The following Joke is brought to you by "Suffering Rancor" by Andy R. Bunch, illustrated by Corey Noel Pennington. Andy will be appearing this weekend at Norwescon. Drop by and join 3,000 fans of Sci-Fi and Fantasy. The nicest people on earth.


AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the blackBurberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in thegas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in twothreatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.)..

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex

Rare Photos

Come hear Andy R. Bunch read from, "Suffering Rancor," at Norwescon April 1-4 Seatac Washington.

Most Useless Machine Ever

Andy R. Bunch will be signing his gritty fantasy novel, "Suffering Rancor," at Norwescon In less than a week. Come by and say, "Hi."

Honey hold my beer and watch this...

This is a cool stunt you must see, but first a word for our sponsors.

Andy Bunch and Corey Pennington will be signing the book, "Suffering Rancor," at the Dublin Down this 1st Friday starting at 7pm. It's always a show. 21 and over this time.

Amazing Fantasy Novel

We've been getting questions, like why does a fantasy book sponsor a web blog about funny or amazing stuff. The easy answer is that it's an amazing book.

In "Suffering Rancor," Andy R. Bunch, has created a world that is rich and unique, yet not entirely unfamiliar. It pulls readers through cinematic scenes with realist characters at a roller-coaster pace. Seldom does a book take on such epic themes and still remain packed with action. This book will resonate with your heart and rock your view of reality.

But "Suffering Rancor," is amazing in another way. Just as there is a growing Indie Music and Movie genre, there is fast becoming an Indie Book genre. Groups like Bizzarro Press of Portland, OR. have grabbed a sizable market catering to the kinds of books that didn't have a wide enough appeal to interest the five big imprints. Now that the work is out there, of course, the fandom grows and so do sales.

While Suffering Rancor isn't as far out of the mainstream in its story line, the author chose a method of publication that would allow him to produce and promote the book in unique ways. For example Andy was able to pick his own cover artist and include 20 images internally. That's where artist Corey Pennington comes in.

Working together to give more visual effect to the story provides readers a better experience--similar to the way graphic novels aid in story telling. Rumors abound that Suffering Rancor will see its day as a graphic novel, which is another option thanks to the unique Indie publishing style. Corey and Andy are also planning a limited run of 100 books which are completely hand crafted. Each one will be slightly different with saddle stitched spines, leather or wood binding, and unique hand drawn internal art. Imagine buying a book that came with collected artifacts from a world that exists only in the mind of its creators. Now you are getting a taste for the vision of this amazing novel.

A third truly unique thing about Suffering Rancor is how the creators are choosing to promote the book. This blog for one, but also in local signings. The book debuted in Paul's Elbow Room which is a downtown Vancouver fixture. Much of the book was written in the downtown Denny's which has since been torn down, or coffee shops around Vancouver and Portland. Both Corey and Andy are firm in their desire to preserve the books connection to the P-town and Vantucky area, and to the Pacific NW. While not shunning the many wonderful, local book stores, both Corey and Andy want to reach an audience that doesn't read a lot of books or spend much time appreciating art. They believe this book can entertain even the modern ADHD crowd.

A typical book signing for these two is a party. They like to involve local musicians, and hit local art events like last Thursday, and First Friday. They spend their marketing budget on local providers like Sparkfire Agency, and Cara Cottingham's Shameless Productions Radio show on Koug.fm.

"Suffering Rancor," is available through:
Barnes and Noble.com
Amazon.com
iUniverse.com

or on the shelf at:
Barnes and Noble Janzen Beach
Mugs Coffee in Hazel Dell
Angst Gallery on Main Street
Jitterbug Coffee

Or come to there next scheduled signing at First Friday;
Vancouver's First Friday Artwalk featuring Dancing in the Street
Friday, September 4th from 5:00 - 9:00pm
As always, admission is free!

Dance your way through Artwalk. Main Street will be closed from 7th to 11th for dancing in the street. Starting at 5:00 enjoy Swing, Cumbia, Zydeco, Ballroom and more. Shops will be open and our local restaurants will be serving outside. It's Artwalk with a whole new twist!

* Seven galleries to explore.
* Admission is Free.
* Turtle Place at Main and 7th: Learn Zydeco with Cascade Zydeco and refresh yourself at Burgerville's new mobile kitchen, the Nomad, and the Tin Cantina.
* Main and 7th: El Parral hosts Cumbia - it's Salsa, but better.
* Main and 8th: Vancouver Ballroom brings Swing to Main Street.
* Main and 9th: Arthur Murray will demonstrate all types of dance and the band "There She Goes" plays music live!
* Main and 11th: Enjoy the Mountain View High School Jazz Band.




For more writing by Andy R. Bunch visit Shortstorysby: