Success Posters, part 3

Success Posters, part 2

Success Posters, part 1

be careful what you wish for

Scott at the dentist

A Scotsman phones a dentist to enquire about the cost for a
tooth extraction.

"£85 for an extraction, sir"

"£85?", the man replies. 

"Huv ye no'got anythin' cheaper?"

"That's the normal charge," replies the dentist.

"Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anaesthetic?"

"That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and knock £15
off."

"Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and
still withoot an anaesthetic?"

"I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be
painful.  But the price could drop to £40."

"How aboot if ye make it a trainin' session, 'ave yer
student do the extraction with the other students watchin'
and learnin'?"

"It'll be good for the students" mulled the dentist.  "I'll
charge you £5. But it will be traumatic."

"Och, now yer talkin' laddie!  It's a deal," said the
Scotsman. 

"Can ye confirm an appointment for the wife next Tuesday
then?"  

Ice Sculpture - Angel

Baseball Joke

Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first
baseball game.


They smuggle a bottle of into the ball park.


The game is real exciting

and they are enjoying themselves immensely...

mixing the Jack Daniel's with soft drinks.


Soon they realize that the bottle is almost gone
and the game has a lot of innings to go.


Based on the given information, what inning is it

and how many players are on base?



Think!


Think some more!!




You're gonna love it


Answer: It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded!

Cool, Space Saving Chair

Classic Cop/Lawyer Joke

This is an old one, but its great so I had to repost it.

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certainly better educated than a Texas cop! He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense.

The deputy says," License and registration, please."

"What for?" says the lawyer.

The deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

The lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

"You still didn't come to a complete stop," says the deputy. "License and registration, please."

The lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

"The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!" the deputy says.

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

"That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle sir," the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts clubbing the tar out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?"

Dogs

Dog Logic


The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his
tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous


There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking
your face. -Ben Williams


A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he
loves himself. -Josh Billings


The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney


Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike
people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to
mix love and hate.


Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed
a dog. -Franklin P. Jones


If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise .
-Unknown

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to
$3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
-Joe Weinstein

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs
should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein


If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he
will not bite you; that is the principal difference between
a dog and a man.  -Mark Twain


Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog
biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
-Phil Pastoret 

What Mom's Say...in under three minutes

Can't Take That Chance